Suffering too great for words

“When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him…
When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him...  

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.”  Job 2:11-13

For the last several nights, I have woken up multiple times to pray.  Each night there has been a specific member of our community for whom the Holy Spirit was leading me to intercede.  And last night when I woke up, I was not only led to pray for one specific family, but this verse from Job came to my mind, as well -   “No one said a word to Job . . . his suffering was too great for words.”

And that’s where we find ourselves today.  There are no words.

It all happened so quickly.

Last Thursday, we had an amazing Google Meet call with so many of you.  All those on the Haiti Awake team were encouraged and refreshed.  Friday we ran programs with a new plan, and it was incredible.  We were all hopeful as we looked to the future.  Saturday there was a phone call with a sponsor.   Once again, it was a sweet time that filled everyone with joy.

And then the afternoon came.

The events that have transpired since Saturday at noon defy any explanation.  Members of our staff and community have suffered staggering losses and disappointment, but we will not comment on those matters publicly. In an effort to preserve people's privacy and help them hold their dignity, we have decided not to share stories we do not believe are ours to tell.

In full transparency, however, our suffering is great.  Our sorrow is real.  We are in a time of lament.  

But due to the current circumstances, we can not all sit on the ground together.   We can not gather around the one family whom we all wish to hold close at the moment.

We can, however, stand together in solidarity and silence by going dark for the next seven days.

The groanings have been too deep for words many times over the last six years, but this week we have reached a level of sorrow even we can not articulate.  We find ourselves in the depths of affliction.

Nevertheless, we do not want you to mistake our silence for capitulation, despair, or defeat.  No. Senior leadership has consulted together and reached the decision that in order to heal, in order to process recent events, in order to find the path forward, as an organization we need to rest, breathe, and, in the absence of words from others, hear the voice of God.  We are doing this with the support of the Board of Directors of Haiti Awake.

Please pray with us as we discern what God has for us in the days ahead.

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.    ”

— 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

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If you have a need that requires immediate attention, please contact Kaitlyn Stephens at 910-599-1753 or kaitlynmariestephens@gmail.com.

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In the midst of chaos, we trust God

Click the link abve to watch a news story which aired in the West Palm Beach market this week. Thankful for opportunities to share Hope and what God is continuing to do, despite the difficulties.

Thoughts from Haiti - unedited

We are living a very unusual situation in Haiti. Specially in my Community. As a fan of action movies, I am used to hearing the sounds and seeing the effects of war guns. But I did not expect to seeing civilians with such guns around my neighborhood. I do not have any problem seeing a police officer or a soldier with any kind of gun. I know that they know what they are doing, that they are not here to harm anybody. They can control their emotions and will fire when needed and they will protect and serve the population. Imagine how I feel when I have to go back and forth seeing people walking, standing or sitting with these guns. I do not know their intentions and I know what their guns can do.

I had to cross their space to drop my daughter to school. I could see the fear in the eyes of the older one. She is 5 years old. I remember one day, we were coming across one young man with a big gun, my older daughter changes the side, because she was in the side that would meet him. I had to live that for a couple of months. These people party a lot in many places around the neighborhood. Right in the middle of the lane/street. They make loud music with indecent slogan and they fire from time to time. At times, they do it from the afternoon and continue it all night.

During that time, I continue to go to seminary. With this pressure, I continued to study. We always had alerts on other gangs willing to come to attack the community because they are not friend of the gang member leading the area where my community is. But nothing really happened until January and early February.

From the second week of February, people start to do manifestation, lots of damages have been registered all around Port-au-Prince. But at the end of February, things have changed. People with lots of guns start a movement in the streets. They block neighborhoods and communities. People have to take a motorcycle to move around or walk to reach a certain point where they can find public transportation. The routes/trajectory of these ‘tap tap’ and buses are very limited to the areas where police stations and important government’s buildings are. Later, gangs start to attack police stations and moving around neighborhoods with war guns on pickups and motorcycles. And we start to hear lots of gunshots during the days and nights all around the neighborhood. Sometimes, they pass and ask everybody to get in their houses and shot their doors because they will be operating. They shoot a lot. The sounds of these guns shake houses. They are so loud and unpredictable. I can hear different sounds one louder than other: automatic, semi-automatic and full-automatic.

And we start to hearing that police officers are facing them. And bullets start to fly all over. People keep on testifying to find bullets in their yards, their homes and they start to leave where they are living. It became so ugly that the seminary was forced to close its doors. We could not even finish the Midterm exam se were supposed to having at the beginning of March. Professors had to adjust their methods and schedule. Now we are using Google Classroom for quizzes, exams, documents, and to submit our academic papers. We use WhatsApp to receive voice notes, group calls from the professors and to message them our questions. We also use Google Meet and Zoom for live sessions. Even in the middle of the chaos, we still have academic goals to meet.

In my case, it’s difficult to concentrate. The situation is uncertain and I can hear heavy gunshots for hours in the neighborhood. To tell the truth, they do not attack anybody’s home. They are just around, shooting. Sometimes they are confronting the police officers that are trying to unblock the main street. The frustration is when you have some pages to read on a book so that you can make a commentary to submit to the professor and you cannot do it because of these movements happening around. The girls are not in peace. They are terrified. You can see the fear on their eyes. They keep on watching me to know what is my commend and recommendation. I need to reassure them, to give them some kind of distraction so that they can forget the scary sound they are listening around the neighborhood. I also need to keep the conversation with the Direction of the organization that I am working for so that I can know what their decisions are.

It's a little bit calm in the moment that I am writing that, around my neighborhood. But it’s not the reality for some other areas. I consider myself fortunate because I do not have energy problem and I have a fare internet connection that makes me available to attend classes, to communicate with friends, relatives and the Direction of my work and to submit my works through the platforms. I am thankful for life, for the family, work, and church. The church where I go is very close to my house. It’s easy to get there and I always attend church during these periods of hard time. We always have services and meeting many times during the week.

It’s still very risky, specially when we take the road to get something for the family or do something for work. It's scary to see how empty, ugly, and dirty streets are. People are moving very fast with fear because anything can happen at any time. In some areas of Port-au-Prince, schools are working. People just do not were their uniform. Some companies keep on working or work intermittently when they can. Some companies are reducing the number of their staff.

In many places, people still can find what they want to eat. Haitian people eat what they can find. We already did not have many things to choose from. In the community, you find some young people gather to talk about the situation, to tell jokes and laugh. Some are listening to music, singing. They are finding a way to take their minds away from what’s happening. Some people gather together to pray and some churches are having prayer services to ask God’s help and mercy. If you are outside of this, we could ask how people can bear what you are seeing in the news. You’re right, things are bad, especially around Port-au-Prince but we are finding a way. But in other areas of the country, things are normal. Schools are open and people are doing their activities. I know, you do not understand that. I don’t either. But it’s the reality.

We keep on messaging and calling friends, parents and relatives to know how they are. What they are facing. Situations are different from an area to another. But we keep on praying God for his mercy and his guidance to help the nation find its way to peace and development. We also have lots of friends in other countries praying for us too. People we do not know and do not necessarily know us a person, either. I wanted to thank them, and I believe this won’t last.

Thank you for your prayers.

Friends,

Thank you for your prayers. We appreciate you.

We are continuing to navigate an incredibly difficult time. As such, we must prioritize our time and focus our attention on what is most important - the people of Haiti and Haiti Awake.

Therefore, I am going to ask you to continue to check our Facebook and our Instagram for near-daily updates on both feeds and stories. Louis Hudson is doing an exceptional job day-by-day.

There is also an email list for financial partners. If you are a financial partner and not receiving emails, please let Hudson know by writing him at haitiawake@gmail.com

We also have two websites where people can learn more about the ministry and what is happening.

This is the Haiti Awake website: haitiawake.org

This is my personal blog: fearisnotmyfuture.com

Hudson has also shared a number of wonderful videos through the years on the Haiti Awake YouTube channel.

It is impossible to answer everyone's specific questions right now. As I shared on my personal Facebook page recently:

"Thank you to those have reached out in concern. I apologize for not having the emotional bandwidth or time capacity to be able to answer you each personally. Please do not be offended when I can't respond to all of your kind messages."

We continue to hope and pray for better days ahead. Thank you all for caring.

Becky Graves, Executive Director

Individual faces, individual stories

I've watched this video over and over again.

While the world talks about prison breaks in Haiti, my prayers this week have been with those incarcerated at CERMICOL, those whose names we know, those whose faces I hold dear.

This young man's story is the story of so many.

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This teenager was 11 years old when he started working for a gang. He was homeless and hungry, he told CNN, and the gang offered him food.

Now, when other members of the gang kill people, they make him burn the bodies, says the teen, who is now 14.

He would like to get out – but he doesn’t know how. His mother lives outside of Port-au-Prince; he’s not sure how to reach her and couldn’t afford such a trip anyway."

“I wish she could come get me,” he told CNN. “I’d like her to take me out of this place.”

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Haiti isn't 11.5 million people. Haiti is individual people with individual stories.

From the comfort of our US existence, it's impossible to comprehend living in conditions where one truly does not see a way out, one does not believe there are choices, one is only looking to survive.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Update from Haiti Awake

Dear friends,

Knowing that many of you are praying and caring about us so much, I'm happy to provide you with a quick update regarding the current situation in Haiti.

It’s been almost two weeks since we've been trying to adapt to a new normal in our community. This new normal brings a lot of stress, pain, and fear for our children, our family and our friends. In fact, the situation is very tense, and nobody wants to go out.

Because of that, most of our programs at Haiti Awake are on hold temporarily because parents are obligated to keep their children home, and try to take all necessary precautions to keep them safe from unpredictable gunfire.

Brothers and sisters, the threats are real, and we rely a great deal on your prayers.

Please pray for the inmates at CERMICOL. We're still in touch with some of the officials at CERMICOL regarding the well-being of the boys with whom we have a very good relationship, even though we can’t visit them right now due to safety restrictions. Please join us in prayer until God opens a door for us to see them again soon.

Pray for our church members. Although we can't gather together right now, we hope that God will allow us to see each other's faces sometime soon.

Pray for the children at Kay Timoun. Even though they’re safe,, it’s hard for them, as well.

Blessings!

Pastor Steeve

Great news!

Great news!

Hello everyone,

Last week, I provided you with an update on the situation in Haiti, talking about how bad things were and different challenges we were facing.

I know that many of you have been praying for us, and I want to express my gratitude for your support and prayers.

Thanks to your prayers and by God’s grace, there have been significant improvements in the situation, especially in our community. Our children and the children from the community can now return to school after three weeks of staying home, churches have started gathering together again and we are able to circulate normally in our community because the roads are unblocked.

We are also incredibly grateful that our community center is once again open to welcome children from the community, especially those from the Community Child Sponsorship program.

Let's continue to trust in the Lord and remain hopeful for even brighter days ahead!

Blessings!

Thank you for your prayers and support!

Friends, the political situation in Haiti remains complex, with ongoing challenges and tensions persisting day after day.

As you know, President Jovenel Moise was assassinated on July 7, 2021, at his residence in Port-au-Prince. Today we still have a de facto prime minister who insists on remaining in power at all costs. This creates a serious problem for the country as a whole.

Additionally, gang activities continue to pose a significant problem, impacting the safety and the well-being of people in my community.

As a result, schools have been forced to close for about three weeks, not knowing when our kids will be able to get back again. Our children have to stay home without being able to go out. It’s like we are all in prison.

Public transportation has been paralyzed due to some serious roadblocks, violence, panic, and fear. Even our program at Haiti Awake had to cease operations for a time.

Friends, the challenges are enormous, but despite these challenges, for the last three days, by God’s grace, our programs at Haiti Awake have restarted to provide hope and support to the children in the community. We are incredibly thankful that the community center at Haiti Awake remains open to welcome the kids and let them know that they have a friend in us and that they are loved.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

Blessings!

Buried in the likeness of His death. Raised to newness of life.

It’s Thursday. I’ve been trying since Sunday to find the words to share the events that transpired in these photos. But I have come to the conclusion, words are inadequate. They will never be enough.

Sunday those of us who live outside of CERMICOL had the privilege of being part of a holy moment inside those prison walls. I’ve often expressed that, in Haiti, I sense the presence of God in a way I have never experienced Him here in the US. Sunday was perhaps the most sacred moment to which I have ever had the privilege to be in proximity.

This morning my thoughts are on the following verses, verses I have known for many years, verses that became so real to me on Sunday.

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5

"Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit." I Corinthians 12:13

Buried in the likeness of His death. Raised to newness of life.

Glwa pou Bondye.

Happy Birthday, Haiti Awake!

October 19 was a special day for Haiti Awake in two ways.

First, it was a special day because it was our anniversary and second, we had the privilege to meet with some of the parents and allow them to experience even for a couple of hours the life of their children at the center.

They were so proud and happy when they could see their children practicing English. The parents also learned a few words with Vorb. It was so awesome when we could see the happiness on the parents' and the children's faces while they played different kinds of games together.

One of the best parts also was when the children taught their parents how easy it is to turn on a computer, and they showed off how they shut it down.

It was an excellent day when the staff, the children, and the parents could work together to have the best experience.

Happy Birthday, Haiti Awake!

Saying "See you later" to a key member of our team

In 2012 when I first went to Haiti, I met a man whom all of the other Haitians called “Wesly J.” Wesly was quiet. He stayed in the background. He did his work faithfully without needing to draw attention to himself. And that’s who he has been all these years - a steady, faithful presence.

As I looked back at photos through the years, I realized Wesly and I didn’t even take a photo together until June 2013, well over a year after I started going to Haiti.  But that seems appropriate.  Wesly has never done anything to try to grab the spotlight.

I have always known I could depend on Wesly.  I remember in 2015 when we drove across town late at night to take a newborn and his mother to the hospital.   I remember the first time we went to the countryside, and we ended up hiking - unexpectedly.  Wesly carried me on his back because I wasn’t wearing the proper footwear.

I think about the way Wesly teased Caleb on his 2nd birthday, taking “Ti Kras” from Caleb’s cake - and Caleb saying, “No, no, Wesly J.  No.  No!”

In my mind I see Wesly carrying heavy things as if they were nothing.  I see Wesly driving the vehicles with pride. I see Wesly helping people.  I see Wesly making pancakes in the morning.

Wesly, you’ve grown and matured in so many ways these 11 years God has allowed us to walk together.   For nearly 5 years, we’ve stayed in the same house.  During this time you’ve been a constant for me - from good morning to good night and a lot of things in-between.  Particularly in the last 9 months, I’ve watched you step up in a way you had not before.

I will miss you more than I can write with words.  I will miss coffee and pancakes and dominoes and seeing you give the dogs their treats. 

At the same time, I am so happy for you!  You are going to learn many new things in the days ahead.  Your world will become so much bigger.  I know you will be successful, and I wish you all the best.

Never forget.  You have a friend in me and know my door is always open to you - whether in the US or in Haiti.

Wesly J, I am a better person because of all of the things you’ve taught me. 

Many times you’ve told me, “Haiti Awake is my heart.” Well, Wesly, you have our hearts, too, and we are so thankful for the time we had together at Haiti Awake.

We all love you.

We will all miss you.

When Happiness must be found in the Midst of Chaos

Saturday, Widecherline was celebrating her birthday, and we all were happy to celebrate with her even though we couldn’t celebrate her birthday the way we expected.

Why? Because Saturday morning around 3 or 4 a.m , I heard a lot of gunshots.

I woke up and went out to see what happened, and I saw that the main roads were completely barricaded in different places, including the street in our community.

People were in panic and had no access to vehicles of any kind.

Around 2 p.m., I saw Widecherline sitting on the balcony by herself, and I said to myself: "It’s her birthday, and I must do something for her."

I went out again. I started walking in the streets, and a motorcycle stopped by my side and said : "Pastor, where you going?"

I said, "I want to find a cake wherever I can." Then the man said to me: "Let’s go, I will take you."

Long story short, the guy could take me through all the barricades because he knows people that I don’t know.

We found the cake, and we celebrated Widecherline’s birthday.

She was so happy even though the country is upside down.

Seven years of knowing & loving CERMICOL

Seven years ago today, after much prayer and perseverance in getting the proper authorization, Haiti Awake was able to visit CERMICOL for the first time. The young men were kept in their cells, and we went door-to-door to speak to them. The doors were covered by a metal grate, so it was difficult to see the boys’ faces. We had to put our eyes up to a hole and peer through as best we could.

In time we were allowed to see the boys. They would be brought out into the courtyard where they stood in rows, and we would address them there. But they were not allowed to address us.

As trust built, we were allowed to speak to them briefly as they sat in a large classroom. We would stand at the front. They would remain in their seats. There was very little interaction.

And now, seven years later, we enter as if we have arrived at home. We are welcomed and allowed to interact with the young men, having time to talk, to laugh, to get to know each other week-by-week.

Glwa pou Bondye.

Rose-Carmel's First Trip to Les Cayes

From Tuesday, June 13 to Thursday, June 15, I had the extraordinary opportunity to go to Les Cayes. This experience left a lasting impression on me.

Because of the insecurity issue the country is facing now, we took a plane for the trip. It was my first time on a flight,and I noticed a lot of things. The clouds I was used to seeing far away, I was watching them very near me. While I was in the air, I could contemplate a little part of the country, and I realized the greatness of God.

Once we reached our destination, we took our luggage to the hotel and then got right to work. We went to buy some stuff and went to the prison to give them. We met with the women prisoners, and we talked to them. After that, we continued to work. We went to many places. We visited where they plant rice, we talked to the workers, and we tried to do their work.

This experience taught me that beside the current situation of the country, there are people who believe in working, who are living with pride because they are gaining their lives honestly and that also taught me that this mentality, if it is promoted to everybody, it could be the source of the country’s wealth.

Another source or wealth I saw is where they call ‘Gele’. It could be an extraordinary space if they adjusted and developed it, putting due infrastructure. It would attract local and international tourists.

But our work did not stop there. We continued our visit. We went to somewhere called “Canse”. It’s a marketplace where we observed the activities. We noticed the hospitality of the people and their dedication to searching for a better life. They showed hope as if they knew that things would change in the country.

The environment there in Les Cayes is calm and peaceful, and the landscape gives desire to live. All that experience makes us understand that we need to give the best of ourselves day by day in whatever we are doing in our works so that we can reach satisfaction.

I thank Haiti Awake for allowing me to go make that experience.

Hudson's perspective on the trip to Les Cayes

By God’s grace, Rose-Carmel and I recently had the opportunity to travel to Les Cayes from Port-au-Prince, Although I have been to Les Cayes many times before, this time it amazed me more than it used to.

Haitian people are resilient. We believe in working hard and we are creative to fulfill the void due to a lack of materials in order to have the best results that we are looking for.

Rose- Carmel and I went to Les Cayes specifically for a food distribution for inmates. Friends picked us up at the airport and we went to the market to begin buying food and supplies.

When we got to the prison, police introduced us to female prisoners as the organization that helps them with what God put on our way. They were so grateful for that.

It was Rose-Carmel's first day ever in the countryside, and she was also amazed by how the countryside is different from Port-au-Prince. She had to experience the authenticity of our fellowships in the South of Haiti. People are always showing their willingness to help, to assure and know that we are comfortable. The people embrace life with a contagious smile. This tells us life is beautiful, no matter where you are.

We visited a market that is mostly for the “Madan Sara”. These ladies come twice weekly to sell or buy in order to make a living. This place is known as a center for gathered vendors from different places of the remote areas. A picture can tell more than a thousands stories. That's why you can see we tend to share pictures of farmers, fishermen, butchers, to tell these important stories.

“Madan Sara” is a bird that you will call “Village Weaver” in English. Those birds are known to migrate together. They are so active you can see that they are working in groups, and they are noisy.

This theme also describes the strong ladies in Haiti that are bringing food from the remote areas to the city. They play a big part in our community by improving the food market and playing a big part in our economy.

If you ever go to an informal market in Haiti, you will be able to see how our Madan Sara are negotiating, how they are active in the market, and they will remind you of that beautiful bird that is a Madan Sara.

Believe us when we say, Les Cayes is a beautiful country. There are so many places that we didn’t have time to discover in order to share the beauty with you. But through those special pictures we had, you can see the resolve in the face of our beautiful Haitian people.

Does the world understand how we are suffering?

Sometimes all we can think about is how hard life has become in Haiti.

I myself can’t stop thinking about Big Outlet, where we used to take children from Haiti Awake every Christmas and also to prepare for back to school. It was a good place to go shopping.

Now, unfortunately , because of the current situation with the gangs, we can’t go there anymore. The area around Big Outlet is incredibly unsafe. The place we used to drive we can not drive any more. Did you hear what happened at Sun Auto recently? That is very near to Big Outlet.

I seriously miss that place.

I am also thinking about many Haitians who used to work there now have no job. When you hear about the hard times in Haiti, you probably don't hear about how many people have become unemployed, but I know the truth. So many people have lost their jobs.

Also, I wonder about the merchandise at Big Outlet. Is it all ruined now? What a loss to the person who invested in opening this business. Will we have a place like this ever again?

What will become of my country? Of my people? Does the world understand how we are suffering?

Kite peyi’m mache.