In March of 2012, my family and I arrived in Haiti for the first time. We had no idea that one trip would change our lives completely and eventually lead us to found Haiti Awake in 2014 with the Derard family.

In those early years, Haiti was full of optimism and potential, the opportunities for intentional investment in development seemed unending. But then came the summer of 2018, and life was irrevocably changed.

July 2013. I met Handy for the very first time.

The sorrows. The joy. I look back at the person I was in 2012 and know she could never have imagined the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The person I was prior to Haiti had no understanding of the life the majority of people in the world live nor how far removed a middle-class American existence is from that reality.

People we thought would be with us forever have come and gone. Places we thought were part of our extended community are no longer accessible, no longer existent.

We have loved. We have lost. We have learned to hold people and places loosely, coming to understand the fragility of it all.

I have wept so many tears through the years, often reaching a point where I wondered if it is possible to cry any more. I have also laughed with complete abandon and loved and been loved in ways that seem to show a glimpse of Heaven on earth.

I wouldn’t change these 14 years and the lessons I have learned for anything in the world, but I would give nearly anything to change the current life so many are living - or should I say enduring?

I nearly lost myself in those early years of loving Haiti, but now, by God’s grace, I can say I have found the truest form of myself - the part that would never have been uncovered if it were not for trials that were mercies in disguise.

Hudson put together these photos, one highlighting each year from 2012 to 2026. As I look at them, I am reminded that the story is not over, and that I still believe God can and will do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Why? Because He’s done it over and over in the past.

One of my favorite worship songs declares:

“And I will build an altar
Stack it stone by stone
’Cause every Ebenezer says I’ve never been alone
My faith will surely falter
But that don’t change what You’ve done
’Cause every Ebenezer points to where my help comes from”

— Chris Renzema